Why I Think my Cats are Stalking Me

I have 2 cats. One of them is a big fuzzy pillow who likes to leave dead things on the porch every now and then. The other is a half-sized female version of the first, only extra fluffy and with a strange attraction to shoes.

Gabrielle is a real sweetheart, sometimes. She climbs on me randomly and starts purring. That’s cute right? Not so much when she’s simultaneously kneading my stomach and drooling a small lake onto whatever I’m wearing at the time. She also likes to hide herself amongst the shoes by the front door and devour my hand whenever I try to rub her belly.

Gideon is a purr machine. He totally ignores me around bedtime, but any other time of the day he’ll climb onto my lap and proceed with his attempts to distract me from whatever I am doing at the time by purring and blocking my screen/taking over my lap. He also follows me around the house, when he’s not playing dead on some soft surface, and meows loudly whenever his food dish is empty. One very strange thing he likes to do is follow me outside when I’m walking the dogs and meow at me constantly.

I swear, I love those two, but I really don’t know what to do with them sometimes. I really have to wonder, though, are they plotting against me?

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