The Great Villains’ Conference of Evil!

This is just a little something my brother and I came up with while taking the dogs for a walk. I actually really wish I’d recorded this, since my brother does hilarious voices sometimes, but this will have to do.

It all started with my brother speculating on the possible differences between witches and warlocks when he mentioned how witches meet in their little coven circles to perform spells, at which point I stated that warlocks, on the other hand, tend to work alone all the time except for their annual conference of evil.

This is the resulting scenario that spawned. Bonus points if you know who Israphel is.

Israphel: Alright, settle down everyone. It’s time to begin the 376th annual conference of evil! Today, we’ll be discussing stealing candy from small children.

Minion: But milord, we talked about that last year!

Israphel: Oh, right. Does anyone else have any other ideas?

Voldemort: What about defeating Harry Potter?

Israphel: Shut up, Voldemort! Stop bringing up Harry Potter. You lost to him fair and square!

Minion: Milord, how about we discuss the raiding of innocent villages?

Israphel: What? Oh, that’s actually quite evil. Thank you, minion. Now get to the dungeon, minions aren’t allowed to have good ideas!

Minion: Aw.

Scar: We should take over the lion kingdom.

Israphel: No, Scar. How many times do we have to tell you? It’s just rocks and grass and zebras. And the last time you took it over it was left fallow for seven years!

Hitler: Vhy don’t ve go kill ze Jews? Und invade Russia vhile ve’re at it?

Stalin: You want to take me in a Russian winter? Bring it on!

Israphel: Hitler! Stalin! Stop fighting before I send you both to the corner!

After that it was mostly just speculating more villains to toss into this crazy conference. Mostly those from Disney, because, let’s face it, those tend to be the most memorable ones. We briefly discussed including Cthulu, but decided he was a bit too high of a level for the rest of the villains, being basically a god and all. Loki, however, was fair game.

What villains would you add to the conference? Post a comment and let me know. It only gets funnier.



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